Self- Reflection

When we were given the rubric for this project, I thought of a million different ideas of what to do and how. I wanted to experiment with something living, with sculpture, with large scale transfer. Instead, I ended up settling on an entirely different project.

Mine, which revolves around a pinhole camera, explores the idea of process. First, I made lumen prints by placing several sheets of photo paper in the sun with organic matter on top. This took approximately 4-6 hours per print. I had to have them in the direct sunlight, but needed them to stay still. I played with only having some of the plants on the paper for half the time, for blocking out the light and making geometric patterns, etc. I explored the idea of time in a longer exposure process and with different organic matter on top of the paper, having heard that different plants could sometimes bring out interesting colors in the paper. Once I had gather a sufficient number of prints, I scanned them into Photoshop and inverted the colors, figuring that the bluish hue would look relatively good on the silver sheet metal.

I practiced transfers on the wood (using both supersauce and matte medium, transfer transparency and magazine pages) and on metal, both sheet and copper. On the metal, I tried both the images I had scanned and those I had inverted, figuring that I would at least see how the colors turned out when put onto this different surface. My prediction was correct and the inverted colors looked the best on the sheet metal. After determining this, I looked up how to make a pinhole camera and debated between a square model and a cylindrical one. My paper models were relatively helpful in figuring out how I needed to bend the metal in order to make the camera. I ended up with a cylinder, hoping that it would give a fisheye effect. It took a significant amount of time to create the actual camera. I transferred my prints onto the metal and then bent it into the round shape. I then pop riveted the sides together and painted the insides black. I had a lot of problems with getting the inner shape to remain light tight. I then cut two pieces of wood. One circular, for the end with the hole, and one a flat, smooth square for the end. I painted the insides black and drilled a hole in the front of the camera. I then cut a small piece of sheet metal and covered the hole, after using a pin to poke a small hole through the center. I painted the entire end black, while the back of it has a transfer on one side and black on the other. The entire process of making the camera took a long time. I found it difficult to make light tight and did it all free hand without an example to go off of. Looking back, had I taken that approach I might have been able to spend more time on trying to capture images.

When I actually started using the camera, I started with still lifes while trying to get a feel for the time needed. I then moved to the hallway outside of the darkroom. I got a print at 9 minutes and so used that to base the rest of exposures. None of the others turned out. The times ranged from 1 minute (1) to 12ish minutes (the majority) to an hour. My original plan was to get some pinhole shots and then scan and transfer on some new material. However, I was so completely consumed by my feeble attempts to get some sort of image, I couldn’t move past this.

I’m disappointed. I know that the point of this class is to experiment and learn from mistakes and move on, while improving, but it is still discouraging to be so completely derailed by this sort of hiccup. I spent an upwards of 4.5 hours on the attempt of getting the proper exposure alone. To be honest, my presentation style will not be what I originally meant for it to be. I will probably show my camera and my prints, but unfortunately don’t have time to push it to the extent that I wanted. If I could change things another time around, I would use a pre-made container, such as an oatmeal canister, as a camera, and so much more experimentation with the image process rather than building process, although learning about how to make a camera, as well as how to make lumen prints, was really fascinating.

I went into this with a vague understanding of what I needed to do to make a camera and then went from there. I was totally in the dark. I have only worked with digital pinhole cameras outside, not a manual one inside. Every piece of research I read never indicated that I would need to expose for upwards of an hour. I honestly think that some of my problems came from how thick the wood was that I put a hole in for the actual pinhole part. I think that it had the possibility of really messing up the shot. I have to admit, however, I did completely expose a small piece of paper at the beginning of the process, just to make sure that the paper was still good (since I “borrowed” it from my uncle and it is rather old). All in all, it was a painful learning experience. Eventually, I just had to learn to accept the fact that it was not going according to plan and that there was very little I could do about it. I didn’t particularly like this path… But I dealt with it because I was running out of time.

I kind of liked the prints that I got. I thought that they were weird and ghostly but I was relatively disappointed that I did not get the image that I aimed for. When I was setting up the show, I tried a little tongue-in-cheek with my presentation. The point of this project was cyclical process, of continuing to push every new product into a new cycle of production. Unfortunately, while a solid idea, I only got through part of the first cycle. The product, in my eyes, was incomplete. There were deliberately loose threads  left hanging by the deadline and so the tape, with the hand writing and commentary, was meant to poke fun at that. I am definitely going to keep revising my camera until I get a print that I am satisfied with.

This course was unbelievably valuable. While I did not do as well in this art class as I have in others, I learned so much. At the beginning of the semester, I had put myself in a box (lets be serious, I'm still in a box). I didn't know how to push myself and was rather tentative in seeing how far I could encourage the product. I didn’t have the experience necessary, I thought. I wasn’t as informed about off-the-wall artists or weird techniques and those that I was aware of, I never dreamed of emulating. Their products and process seemed like a wild dream, something almost unattainable. This class changed my view of that. I think that I never really considered myself as one who constantly stayed within the lines of propriety. I always felt like I was pushing them in some way. I think that, as far as my art, I was pushing the lines, but from within the box. Taking the course and seeing my classmate’s projects and interests and hearing their critiques and all of the artists that they loved and emulated really, really inspired me. I was surrounded by a plethora of talent and I have to say that, on a regular basis, I felt like I should not have been in the class, simply because the expertise and projects around me were so amazing. I appreciate this experience. I wish that I had engaged in more dialogue with my classmates, as many of them are simply brilliant and have so much talent. I learned from them the most I think. In a way, I wish I could redo this class with the knowledge that I have now. I want to go back and redo each project with the mindset of the last project – that the process never ends and that, if it is my intent, I can continue to build upon each “finished” product, stretching its meaning and making even more connections.